Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Take Your Shorts Off

Buffi Neal - Wonderfully DysfunctionalMy son has a pair of shorts that I absolutely detest.  To me, they look like something a corner drug dealer would wear.   To him, they look like they got stripped off the body of an NBA player.  To make matters even more complicated, they were a gift from his older cousin.

So, we begin our morning battle:

“Why do you have to wear those shorts when you have a whole drawer of shorts that fit you?”

“These do fit, Mom.  They’re supposed to be long.”

I hold up the shorts I just bought him.  “Here’s a nice pair.  Why don’t you wear these?”

But The Boy is clever.  “Okay Mom, I’ll wear those tomorrow.”  He runs out the door to catch the bus.

So I look to the experts.  In an article entitled Mothers HaveUnleased the Guns of Wardrobe Warfare, moms are paying $300 for personal shoppers to help their teens dress in age-appropriate fashion. 

I’m speechless and nauseous.

An article by entitled How to Resolve More Clothing Conflicts, encourages parents to bargain with their teens to wear appropriate clothes.  Really?  Bargain? 

All of my research done, I had a battle-plan.

The battle replays.  But this time is sounds like this:

“Mom!  Do you know where my shorts are?”

“I think the new shorts I bought you are in your drawer.”

“No, Mom.  The other shorts.  The long blue ones.  You know Mom, the shorts you hate….”

“Oh, those.  Did you check the laundry basket?”

“Not there.”

“Did you check the dryer?”

“I checked.  Not there either.”

“That’s weird.  Maybe you left them at a friend’s house.”

“What?  Come-on, Mom, where are they?”

“You’re gunna be late for school, pick another pair of shorts.”

The Boy actually wore a nice pair of shorts that morning and every morning after.  I didn’t need to break the bank paying for a personal shopper or come up with clever bargaining technique. 

I used good old-fashioned diversion mixed with Mommy-knows-best.  I did feel a twinge of guilt.  Should I have told him to check the garbage?

How do you handle your teen wardrobe battles?

Thanks for stopping by.
Please support me with your honesty.



  1. Wow! Actual parenting - simple and efficient. Nice work, Buffster.

  2. Hahahaha my mum used to do that to me ALL the time, cliaming I never gave them to her to wash so how does she have them! But it was never in the garbage, I have no idea where she hid half my clothes. I bet they're stuffed in some cupboard somewhere until this day.


  3. Too funny! I remember battling with my son about the same sort of thing. I gave up - he got bored with them and moved on to something else. With two grown kids of my own and 4 stepchildren, I learned a long time ago to pick my battles. But I DO like you solution - diversion tactics always work. lol

  4. Good morning! I am a new follower from Welcome Wednesday. I have twin 4 year old boys and am so NOT looking forward to wardrobe battles. I like your approach though. Brilliant.

  5. Totally sounds like something I would do with either my kids or my husband's clothes! Sometimes you just get tired of looking at something. :) Thanks for reminding me that this could be the solution to a couple of things I am oh so tired of. Following you from Welcome Wednesday. Happy to find your blog.

  6. Kind of like my daughter, and me too. I love wearing my slightly torn victoria secret nighties than the silk one that looks perfect. It's more comfortable:)

    Hopping by and following your FB and twitter.

    Also inviting you to join my Yoplait Giveaway which includes VIP coupon for a free 4-pack of Yoplait Trix yogurt for kids and Yoplait branded items including an insulated lunch tote, ice pack, backpack, folder, zippered pencil pouch, pencils, erasers, and pencil sharpener (great for your schooling kid!). You may join here:

    Hope to see ya there:)

  7. Thanks for your comment on my blog.

    Funny story, funny in that you used humor to show how silly a personal shopper could be for a teen that does not do his or her laundry yet.