Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Raising a Man or an Imposter?

Nobody really wants to raise a coward, chauvinist or swindler, but we’re crankin’ them out in droves.

The Muscle Man:  Flexes his muscles and makes sure everyone knows how important he is.
The Magician:  Magically disappears when any real work needs to be done. 
The Caboose:  Has his nose permanently attached to his boss’ crack. 
The Coward:  Goes to church on Sunday, and then cheats on his wife Monday night.
    How can I teach my son to be a man with integrity, honor and accountability when the world is littered with the opposite? 
The Article, Teaching teenage boys to respect women, reports, “In a world of raunchy music videos, sexually explicit video games, and (some) teenage girls growing up way faster than they should, it is very important to instill good values into your adolescent son.”
I agree.  But I think we can battle the bad influences.  Hell, I’m not saying I’m perfect or I have all the answers.  I just know the man I don’t want my son to be.
So here are some things I tell my son:
  • Don’t be a snitch.
    School rules support the idea that it’s honorable to tattle; Tell the truth and save yourself. 
    I tell my son, “Only snitch if the person is in danger, if what they are doing might hurt themselves or someone else.”
  • Be a Leader.
    Leaders don’t need followers; they just need an independent mind.
    I tell my son, “Take a look at someone you admire.  What makes them stand out? They don’t follow the crowd.  Remember, bossing other kids around doesn’t make you a leader.”
  • Be Accountable.
    Every now and then I screw up.  And when I do, the last thing I want to do is tell my kids.  But I fight my intense need to be right and say, “Sorry kids, Mom’s not perfect.”
  • Have Honor and Integrity.
    These can be challenging for a teen to grasp.  We watch movies that embody honor and integrity like: Scent of a Woman, Officer and a Gentlemen, Grand Torino and Witness.
How are you raising your future man?
Thanks for stopping by.
Please support me with your honesty.

Update on the book: 
CreateSpace just started formating the INSIDE of the book- So Excited! 
Due to be in print before this summer *big smile*


  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    1. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. Thanks for stopping by and reading.
      - Buffi

  2. Enjoyed reading this! Thank you for sharing it. I have boys and it's so difficult to instill values in them in this crazy world! New follower on GFC:)

    1. Hey Barbara - I agree that it is difficult. I also find that raising my daughter comes with a whole different set of worries. Thanks for stopping by.


  3. Hi, Found your blog on the #FF hop but could.t see you post so I am commenting here! love the blog and followed on GFC. I would love it if you could check out my blog: http://readingunderthewillowtree.blogspot.co.uk/

    1. Kate,
      Thanks for stopping by. I'm headed over to your blog now. Wow - 2 weeks sure goes by fast!
      - Buffi

  4. Too late for me...mine will be 40 on July 1st and sad to say he turned out a lot like his father. Enjoyed this post!

  5. That's a really good lesson for mothers. If someday I happen to have kids, I'll have to remember all that. Thanks for stopping by!

  6. Don't worry about it. "Normal" ain't all it's cracked up to be!

    When my oldest (15 yr old young man) wants to say words he knows I don't want to hear, he says "so and so said....", then wondered why I objected. I told him, "Because they're coming out of YOUR mouth!"

  7. I love this article--having been a high school teacher for 5 years, I watched young men walk around acting like idiots because they are being raised to fit into one or another group that you listed--and they were idiots! This is a really great view! Thanks for stopping by my blog--I'm following you, too, and can't wait for the book!

  8. Thanks for that, makes me very happy that i have a daughter. i like your approach :-). thanks for coming to visit and for following, am following you back with pleasure

  9. Good advice for sons. I'm proud of my 21 yr old son, who is a young man of character. So many of the boys he grew up with were being taught that it's better to be cool than to be kind. yikes I think men should be strong, brave AND kind. Thanks for stopping by my blog. I'm a new follower.

  10. o wow. this is for sure some gr8 advice you shared! gr8 post!! :-)


  11. Love this! What great advice for raising boys! Love it, love it!

    By the way, thanks for stopping by and following. I'm not following you back.

  12. Hey Buffi,

    It is indeed a shame that our country does not value integrity as it once did. I wish all parents would have the same concerns for their sons as you do for yours. It would make me feel safer for my daughter.