Friday, September 28, 2012

Should We Care What The Neighbors Think?

I’m often lecturing the kids with righteous statements like, “Be yourself.” and “You shouldn’t care about what others think of you.”

Just the other day, I forced the kids to help me pull weeds.  The front yard looked like Jurassic Park and we were having a party that weekend.  I picked through rotting flowers, ranting, “We look like white trash.  I can’t believe I let it get this bad.”

Wonderfully DysfunctionalThe Boy, who was sitting on the driveway happily procrastinating, suddenly came to life. “Mom! I thought you said we shouldn’t care what people think about us.”

I snapped back, “That’s true, but look at this place.  Aren’t you ashamed to live here?”

Sure that he found a way out of doing chores The Boy jumped to his feet and said, “I don’t care what people think about me and neither should you Mom.” 

The kids are genius at using my words against me. I’m in charge of teaching good core values, but there I was again…speechless. Why did I care what the house looked like?

In the article Why You shouldn’t Care What Others Think About You, Michael Miles states, “We didn’t want to be singled out by the crowd for being different…” and goes on to call this “the drug of approval and importance.”

School kids feel the pressure to fit in more than ever.  So where do we draw the line of having a healthy need for acceptance?  And why must I have such a smart-ass kid?

After a brief fight with myself, I stood up and proclaimed, “I don’t care what others think.  I want the house to look nice for ME. Now hurry and help me finish before the neighbors see me wearing these dirty jeans."

How are you driven to fit in?

Thanks for stopping by.
Please support me with your honesty.
Buffi

Update on the book:
was rated
#1 Amazon Best Selling Family Memoir!
Huge Thanks to YOU.

17 comments:

  1. Hi! I'm your newest follower from the Make My Saturday Sweet hop! I look forward to connecting with you!

    Christie
    http://satisfactionthroughchrist.blogspot.com

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    1. Christie - thanks for stopping by. I was reading all about your adoption story and so very moved by your entire blog. Thank you so much for sharing your journey.
      -Buffi

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  2. This made me laugh...my kids have always used my words against me at one time or another. All that time I just thought they were NOT listening.

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    1. Too funny - I know exactly what you are talking about! They hear everything! Thanks for always stopping by the blog and thanks for your email. What an exciting week it has been!
      - Buffi

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  3. So funny but true! You had a good response - make it look good for yourself and work hard because it's important to have a strong work ethic rather than shirk from doing our chores.

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  4. OMG, you are a fabulous writer. I am going to pick up the book if this is the content it contains. So glad I found you on Make My Saturday hop. A twitter follower now.

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    1. Thanks so much. I loved your playlist - nice mix of old and new. Followed you on Twitter as well. Have a great weekend.
      Buffi

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  5. I always say that my kids outsmarted me a long time ago! They constantly throw my words back at me. My problem is that I often can't remember what I'd previously said! I found that once I turned 40 I started caring ALOT less what other people think. I think I came to realize that everybody else is so busy wondering what other people think of them that they often don't notice very much about you!

    I'm visiting from the Make My Saturday Hop and I'm now following via Twitter, GFC and email. Would love for you to visit us and reciprocate.

    Have a wonderful weekend! Cheers!

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    1. Hey Renee - I've been on your site before. I love that you review books with your kids. I'm not too familiar with GFC, but I think I followed you there :-) Thanks for stopping by.
      Buffi

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  6. What does it say about you that your kids never threw your words back at you? Am I a failure as a parent? Those ungrateful brats! They were'nt even listening to me!!!

    Sometimes peer pressure can be a blessing, but it can be a curse when it comes to stuff like sex and drugs.

    As for what other people think of my yard or my house? We recently visited our neighbors behind us for the first time. Her house contains every single decorator item that one can find at Kirkland's. She is trying very hard to fit in with the current home fashions. Me? I don't give a rat's ass about that stuff. I put my house together strictly for myself, so when I'm lounging around in my living room, watching the Ryder Cup, I can occasionally gaze upon some object d'art that I have collected from God knows where. Hahaha! Those pieces look a whole lot better than the American team right now!

    Thanks for stopping by, Buffi. I have missed you!

    xoxo

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  7. haha. I hear you. Sometimes you've just got to care. Hence why I take photos in the tidy rooms in my house and not the messy ones. It's just natural, and there's nothing wrong with being house proud.
    I am currently hosting a blog hop over at my blog
    http://myfroley.blogspot.com

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  8. If it gives you any comfort - smart ass disease is universal! My kids have it, too. It's a constant battle to outsmart them or 'yourself' when they throw your own words back at you!!! In my 40s and with my 'smart' brain cells deteriorating it's getting harder and harder!

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  9. That was so funny! Our kids do weeding when they misbehave. They get 5 min. for not carrying out a task and if it's a repeat offence, then it's 10 min. or 15 min. Today my 15 year-old son did weeding to earn some money. Thanks for linking up at my Make My Saturday Sweet blog hop and for leaving such a nice comment! I'm now following you on GFC and Twitter.

    Tina - mom of 4 and author of 5 blogs
    http://abooksandmore.blogspot.com

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  10. Around here if we are lax about cutting our lawn we the "looks" from the neighbors and eventually get a talking to. I make sure my 11 year old boy does not leave the house with his messy hair looking like a hobo to school. He hates it. He really could not care less.

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  11. I'm back to let you know you have been nominated for the Versatile Blogger award. Congratulations!!! Check http://thegreekhousewife.blogspot.gr/2012/10/more-awards.html to find out about it!

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  12. I don't want to care what people think, but I don't want to be a slob. Mind you, I am a slob, but I don't want it publicized. ;-)

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  13. Interesting! When it comes to stuff outside the house, I almost think of it as being considerate of my neighbors, not an issue of vanity or worrying about others' opinion of me. But you're right---it's so hard to draw the line. I guess it if affects others, I care a bit more.

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